


The Space That Holds Us

by Whythename12



Series: Space and the Avengers [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, Cats, Crime Fighting, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Injury, Injury Recovery, London, Morning Sickness, New York City, Platonic Relationships, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Bucky Barnes, Secret Past, Trauma, Unplanned Pregnancy, Wakes & Funerals, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:46:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26979790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whythename12/pseuds/Whythename12
Summary: Blair is trying to recover from her past battles but he life isn't perfect. Her relationship could be on the line and she can't seem to catch a break. From crime fighting to throwing up in the early mornings, Blair dose it all.~~~Part two of I Just Need Space
Relationships: Steve Rogers & Original Female Character(s), Steve Rogers/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Space and the Avengers [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1968976
Kudos: 2





	1. "the glory that was pizza."

He hated how empty it was, the silence in the large room. The books with thousands of words yet she couldn't say anything. A fan cooling down the room and the leather against his skin. The large L shaped desk left plenty of room for his papers and computer. He leaned back in the chair looking over at the old record player with a smile on his face. Music filled the cold air around him as his eyes closed taking in the melody. He tapped his foot slightly taking some deep breaths and bringing his arms up behind his head.

Steve opened his eyes when he heard the sound of a distant crash. He let out a sigh as his meditation was ruined, but he stood up. Steve pushed the chair in and walked around the desk opening the white wooden door. The hallway in front of him was decorated with water color paintings of different landscapes.

The black and white hallway runner slipped under his feet slightly as he walked down to the sound of the crash. Steve's yellow socks hit against the floor muffling his sound as he made it to the crash site. He opened another white door and was blinded by the light. The room was littered with paintings of all different shapes and sizes. Two easels faced the large window overlooking the trees and countryside of upstate New York. 

Painting supplies sat in large shelves and it was a chaotic organized mess. A woman sat by one of the easels with a paintbrush in hand. The messy large gray t-shirt made it seem like she wasn't wearing anything else. Her hair was tied into a messy bun as she looked up at Steve. She reached over and took some water and paint onto her brush moving it along the thick watercolor paper. The edges were tapped and she looked out at the changing leaves in front of her.

She turned around and smiled at Steve, "Is everything okay in here, Blair? I heard a loud crash," The black hair swung around with the woman's pale skin. Blair continued to look at the skyline and then her painting.

"Yep," Blair smiled, washing out her brush and grabbing a smaller one. "I think Hobbes pushed over some brushes again."

Steve looked down to see the orange Siberian cat rubbing against his leg. The fluffy tail stuck straight up and Hobbes started to put as he nuzzled his head into Steve's leg. The tall man shook his head and squatted down to pet the cat. He then made his way over to Blair who was still working on her painting. Steve wrapped two hands around her waist and pressed his front flushed to her back. He looked at the painting she was in the middle of and smiled. The intricate placement of each leaf and beautiful sun setting in the background felt like home. Large oak trees and the small garden that sat outside the window. Steve brought his hands under Blair's large shirt wanting to be closer to the woman. His hand grazed over the scared flesh that was puffy from the healing. 

"Did you make sure to wrap it last night?" Steve asked, kissing Blair's neck and grazing his hand over the new forming flesh. 

Blair nodded, "How could I forget with you nagging me?" she teased the man. A small smile spread across his face as he looked back at Blair's painting. "Do you think I should add more red?" She asked, looking at the painting.

"The left is a little yellow heavy. Maybe a light red orange would look best," Steve answered the question. Blair nodded and looked over at her colors grabbing a new brush and started to splatter the leaves on. "Is this one for a customer?" 

Blair shook her head, "Nope, it's part of the collection I'm doing so we can hang it in the front room," She had started the day they moved into the small country house. Blair started in summer and it was now the start of autumn. Two of the four paintings were finished and she couldn't wait to get all the seasons.

"It looks amazing," he kissed Blair's collarbone and backed away. Steve walked to the door, "What do you want for dinner?" He asked, looking at the woman who was still concentrating. 

Blair shrugged, "I wouldn't mind some Tofu," she said jokingly.

Steve rolled his eyes, "I refuse to eat Tofu again, you know the hatred I have for it."

She let out a breathy laugh, "Okay, Okay," she set her paintbrush down. Blair covered the colors and looked back at Steve. "How about we cook a pizza?"

"Now we're talking," Steve smiled walking out the white wooden door and Blair followed shortly after. The 3 bedroom country house had been Blair and Steve's home for the past three months. It was two stories and had a cozy interior. Neither Blair nor Steve ever had a house that felt so homie. It took awhile for the two to get used to it but after a while they enjoyed it. Getting out of the complex did wonders for both of them.

Blair made her way from the living room and into the kitchen. She walked and looked at the fridge in front of her as Steve grabbed the pizza sauce. "What do we feel like, cheese, pepperoni, Veggie?" She questioned naming their options off.

"What about, hear me out," Steve turned to look at Blair. "What about barbecue chicken?"

She cocked her head to the side and looked at Steve from where she stood the fridge door open. Blair slowly nodded looking back into the fridge, "Lucky for you, we have some," she pulled out two thawed chicken breasts. "We have chicken."

The two got to cooking and danced around the kitchen like lunatics. Steve and Blair would steal kisses every once and awhile, even slap each other's asses. Their domestic side really came out when the two were making dinner. It was strange to see two people who had gone through so much forget about it all for a few hours. They didn't think about anything except the other company and their warmth. 

Blair and Steve at the pizza with smiles on their faces and basked in the glory that was pizza. Steve had a few beers and Blair opted for some red wine, tonight wasn't a whiskey night. As they drank and ate Blair turned on a movie and they watched it intensely. This was a normal evening for the two superheroes. A movie, drink, food, and good company was all they wanted.

As Blair laid her head on Steve's lap watching 'The Little Mermaid' she let out a loud sigh. Steve looked down at her, his fingers brushing through her hair. Blair usually voiced her problems but every once and awhile she let Steve try to figure it out. Steve reached forward and grabbed the remote pausing the movie. "What is it?" He asked looking down at Blair.

"Have you ever thought about having kids?" She blurted out. Steve stopped and took in the question with wide eyes and blushed over cheeks. "Not like right now but… have you ever thought about it?" Blair asked tilting her head back to see Steve's face.

He sighed and shifted around a bit as Blair fixed her hair. "Well, with my occupation and how dangerous,"

"No," Blair shook her head and sat up now straddling Steve. His hands were placed under the large gray T-shirt and Blair placed her hands on his chest. "I mean if you left that. Left the Avengers, left the whole super soldier thing and could just settle down."

"Blair, you know what will never happen," Steve said rubbing Blair's sides slightly. 

She sighed and groaned, "Just imagine. Would you want kids if you could throw all that away?"

"That's a hard Question Blair and I feel like it's a trap," Steve ran a hand over his face as Blair leaned into him. Her head sat on Steve's shoulder waiting for him to reply. "I've always wanted stability, I've dreamed of settling down, having a family. But," he sighed as Blair brought her head off his shoulder. "But, I don't want that anymore. The man who wanted all that stepped into the ice 70 years ago," Blair kissed Steve's neck and made a small humming noise. "What about you?" Steve asked.

"I can't have children, no point in wanting any," Blair sighed holding her arms around Steve's neck. "I love you, Eros."

"I love you too, Aphrodite."


	2. "Just, stop."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They can't even have one day out together without something happening.

The sound of a car pulling into the driveway broke through Blair's blissful peace. She looked over at Steve who sat in a large armchair with a book in hand. "Not it!" Blair yelled and Steve groaned. He stood up from the armchair setting his book down on a wooden end table. 

Steve walked to the door and opened it greeting whoever stood there. Blair tried to look around Steve's large frame and only saw a bit of red hair. She heard whispering and Blair looked back to her book with a sigh. After about a minute Steve closed the door and walked in with papers in his hands. 

Blair looked up from her book and cocked her head to the side, "What's that?" She sat her book on her lap marking the page. Steve stood in the kitchen and read through the paperwork. Blair stood up seeing Steve clearly in distress. She rounded the corner and put a hand on Steve's hand that was placed palm down on the counter. "Steve? What is it?"

Steve sighed and took his hand away from Blair's. He groaned and put his head in his hands walking his feet back so he could get his elbows on the counter. Blair moved her hand onto Steve's shoulder as she looked at the papers. It was a mission, He was supposed to go with Wanda, Sam, and Natasha to Lagos. Blair didn't bother reading the rest of it seeing how distraught Steve was. 

"Oh, Baby," Blair bent down and put her body between the counter and Steve. He could see her popping up and he gave a weak laugh. He straightened up and hugged Blair close. "It'll be okay, it's only a few weeks." 

Steve sighed and had his hand on Blair lower back and one reaching up to her shoulder holding her body close to him. Blair had her arms wrapped around his neck as Steve buried his head in the crook of her neck. The two stood in the kitchen embracing each other and just being there for each other. 

Blair looked at Steve's blue eyes with a small smile on her face. "Hey, you don't have to leave for another week. Let's go out tonight, celebrate what we have and what we are going to have," she saw a small grin spread across his face, "Sound good?"

"Amazing," Steve said, giving Blair a peck on the lips. "Now go get ready before I rip these clothes off of you," Steve smiled letting go of Blair. She threw her head back and laughed letting go of Steve. As she started to walk away Steve gave her ass a good ol' smack. Blair gasped and looked back at Steve with sarcastic angry eyes he let out a hearty laugh as Blair walked away.

Blair wore a large white sweater, red infinity scarf, black jeans, and combat boots. She looked at herself in the mirror one last time and fixed her curled hair, it looked fine. Blair shrugged and walked out of their shared bedroom. Steve was putting on his black leather jacket and looked up at Blair. 

A large smile wiped across his face as Blair came closer Steve swept her up in one motion. His arm wrapped around her lower back and he pressed their bodies together. Blair smiled into the passionate kiss holding onto Steve's leather jacket. They pulled away from the kiss still close to each other, "Hi," Blair smiled.

Steve had a full toothed grin, "Well hello to you too, Beautiful," He kissed her lightly again. "Are you ready for a wonderful evening?"

"Are you coming with?" Blair asked.

Steve furrowed his eyebrows, "Yes?"

"Then it's already a wonderful evening," she smiled, kissing Steve before they headed out the door.

The small diner was Blair and Steve's favorite place to go. It reminded the two of the 40's and they both loved it. Steve always got black coffee and devils lobster, it was his favorite. Blair would get Dr. Pepper and an egg salad sandwich with coleslaw on the side. Then at the end of the meal they would share a slice of coconut cream pie. They were both creatures of habit and the diner staff didn't mind one bit.

A few others were scattered around the diner all sitting in their own booths and eating happily. Blair let out a small chortle as she brought the first bite of pie to her mouth. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head as she let out a small groan. Steve followed soon after and the two laughed, "I forgot how good this shit was," Blair smiled shoveling more into her mouth.

Steve nodded, taking another bite of pie. The two ate the pie and laughed like they had the whole night. It was their 21st date tonight and felt like their first. Steve and Blair were such good friends and lovers that not a single second was awkward. They had so much to talk about and still had so much to learn about each other. Even if they have lived together for about 4-ish months there was so much more that could be discovered about each other.

As Steve talked about the complex and everyone's new-ish lives Blair couldn't help but look. The slight wrinkled smile lines, piercing blue eyes, every detail of his face pulled her in. The golden boy smile was a real thing, it was fascinating. Blair scanned over his face but was soon snapped out of reality. 

SHATTER

The loud crash and the gasping for air as Blair was thrown to her knees. Her lungs burned and she coughed up the water in her lungs. Blair's eyes burned from the chemicals and she couldn't see that well. She looked up from her position on the floor to see two men walking towards her. They wore black uniforms and picked Blair up under her armpits. 

Blair's body was slammed onto a wooden chair and her hands were strapped down. Her vision started to clear and her ears had stopped ringing from the water pressure. She looked around to see another man with long brown hair strapped into a chair across from her. Blair looked down trying to find a way out and soon saw her leg. Her left leg was metal, when did that happen? 

The other man's arm was much like hers, metal with a red star. She looked with scared eyes at the man but he didn't look up. His hair blocked his face and Blair couldn't make out who he was. Blair tried to speak but as soon as a word left her mouth someone smaller a gag into her mouth. 

"Trying to escape is a lost cause," a man stepped forward. His boots, black leather boots that squeaked against the floor. The military pins that dangled from a dark green suit. "You have been called into the Hydra program."

The man set down papers and Blair started to scan over them. She knew what Hydra was, what they wanted, what they did to people. Blair shook her head and tried to get out of the restraints, she was too weak. 

"Oh, yes," the man put his hands down on the table and looked at Blair. In a softer voice he pointed at the brown haired man, "Because if you don't, His blood will be on your hands." 

A hand came behind the man's long brown hair and pulled his head up. Black tape was shoved over hsu mouth but Blair knew that face anywhere. It was Bucky, why the hell was he here. She looked at the man who was breathing heavily but was unreadable. Blair wanted to call out to him but she couldn't call out.

Blair looked over to the man, "So will you do it? Join Hydra?" She didn't want to, she couldn't let Bucky die because of her. Blair nodded and the man smiled slicing the palm of her hand and stamped it onto the paper.

SHATTER

Blair came back to reality and looked at Steve with dead eyes. "Blair?" he questioned putting his hand on hers. She pulled it away and her elbow hit the booth making it rattle. Blair's mouth hung open slightly and she looked down at her left palm. 

"Let's go," Blair said, grabbing her bag, not looking at Steve. 

"Is everything alright Blair?" Steve asked looking up at her.

She took a deep breath and stood up from the booth, "I just want to go home."

"Blair," He grabbed her wrist before she could leave the store. "What's wrong."

Steve's touch felt like burning lava on her skin and Blair ripped her wrist from Steve's hand. Everyone now looked at the two superheros, "Let's just go," she hissed walking out of the Diner.

The whole car ride home was filled with Steve's frustration and constant concern. Blair set her things down and immediately started walking towards the bedroom. Before she could go any farther Steve grabbed her upper arm with just enough force to stop her. She turned towards Steve and slammed his hand down, her hands were shaking.

"Blair, just tell me what's wrong?" Steve was getting fed up with Blair. He wanted to help her but she kept running away from him.

Her face was cold but her neck was red and the veins bulge out, "I'm fine," she said, dropping Steve's wrist that she currently held. 

"Stop lying to me!" Steve said, starting to raise his voice as Blair neared the staircase. "Blair, you can't keep doing this!" He sighed putting a hand on his hip and one on his forehead. Before he started talking he dropped the hand on his forehead, "You can't keep shutting me out, Just tell me what's wrong!"

"Steve," she unclenched her fists and dropped her shoulders. Tears were starting to brim in her eyes hearing Steve's words. "Just, stop."

"No!" He finally yelled. Blair flinched at his outrage and she just looked at the staircase. "We're supposed to be a team, Blair! I can help you but you won't let me in! You won't let anybody In!"

"No one can help me," She turned back to Steve. A single tear fell from her eye but her face was stone cold.

Steve let out a sarcastic and amused laugh shaking his head. "Yes, Yes someone can. People are trained for this!"

"No one can help me!" Blair screamed stepping closer to Steve. "Unless you know someone who can wipe away decades of pain and suffering!" He fist clenched and tears started to pour from her eyes. "Unless someone can make all the flashbacks of rape, murderer, abuse, death, illness, tortue, screaming, unless someone can take that all away no one can help me," she took a step with each word untill she was inches from Steve. Neither of them said words as they looked into each other's eyes. Steve stood with his mouth slightly open as he watched the anger turn to sorrow on Blair's face. "I am broken. I am damaged," tears rolled out of her eyes like waterfalls. "I am damaged beyond repair, and even if you wanted to fix me you couldn't."

Blair started to walk away tears streaming down her face and puffy eyes. Hair clung to her face as she headed for the stairs again. "Wait," Steve said in a soft voice. Blair stopped and turned to look at the man who stood in the same spot. He looked up and stepped towards Blair with cautious steps. "Blair, we all have our own wounds. We’re all broken in our own way. Mine might look different than yours, but they were deep enough to enlarge my heart," The two looked at each other for a few minutes, the tear stained faces looking at each other like a mirror. Blair let out a loud sob and Steve engulfed her in his arms. She sobbed into his shoulder as tears ran down his face too. "We can fix broken, together," he whispered. 

Blair sighed and sniffled looking at Steve's tear stained eyes. "I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too," Steve smiled back giving her a small kiss. Soon he felt something brush against his leg and the two looked down. Hobbes was rubbing up against them and then flopped onto his back. They two let out a small laugh as they sniffled, therapy cat was never off duty. "We love you too, Hobbes."

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kudos give me life


End file.
